"My realize, My love for you"
I miss you, I miss you.
I once closed the door just for you.
As many time, so many times before.
I don't wanna be like this, i just wanna let you know.
Everything i want to hold it, everything just can't let go.
I wish i could find the right word to say.
MY CODE
Kermise Toh
14 october 1990
New Creation Church
→ March 2007
→ April 2007
→ May 2007
→ June 2007
→ August 2007
→ September 2007
→ October 2007
→ November 2007
→ December 2007
→ January 2008
→ March 2008
→ July 2008
→ August 2008
| Sunday, September 30, 2007 |
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There goes my day drifting away. How I hope that I can go for service than going to my cousin house! Its just waste of my time! Chalet for tomorrow, I thought I will be excited for it but NO, I wasn't! Felt that it won't be as happening as I want it to be. Alright, get to sleep, goodbye loves. THE BEGINNING OF THE SONG I will not trust my arm of flesh,..
Upon your word I stand..
Jesus your grace has raised me up
Jesus your truth has set me free
To worship and adore you Lord
For all you are to me.." |
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| with love ♥ 9:56 PM |
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| Saturday, September 29, 2007 |
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I was having a super bad cramp yesterday evening, with my mummy shopping at Bugis and it turns out not to be a very good trip! The shopping trip was actually spoilted by me. I sat on the toilet floor when the pain was killing me. Imagining myself sitting on a dirty floor, Oh Dear. But there isn't any choice but to do so. I gave a call to my mum telling her im about to faint in the toilet, she rushed in, grab me up & brought me to the nearest cafe to have a seat. She told me that my face was so pale and gave her a shock! Yes, I know what cause me to have such a thing to happen! It's all my fault! Yes I know yesterday was Zhanyi,Limin&Dion's birthday too. Messaged him in the morning, everything was alright, FINE! I moved on so does he(: |
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| with love ♥ 11:50 AM |
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| Monday, September 24, 2007 |
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Alright, actually im here to say that im getting him out of my mind. I just gonna do what's best for me. I got to move on and be who I am. I just don't belong here! We might find a place in this world someday but at least for now, I need to find my own way. I got to leave but I will miss you. I hope that someday, somehow, you will change for me. People says that you are not fit to have me than im not fit to have you as my boyfriend! But, my thinking was the other way round! I think that you are too good to be mine. Maybe you are right. For your everything, you can find someone who is much much better than me. So, I will now set you free. Im letting you go although I know that I have a feeling call ''unwilling''. The memories I had with him. now, I really gonna let it go. |
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| with love ♥ 9:41 PM |
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| Thursday, September 20, 2007 |
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Let's see, I haven been talk to him for quite some time. I know that this is the best way for me in order to let him go. But things don't seems to go smoothly. I just couldnt get myself to talk to him and not even see him. Talking about this, for the last Arrow I attended, Iburst out crying again! I knew that this will happen right from the start when I went there. Why? Why is my emotion so weak or is the Devil playing with my emotions? Thinking back, I don't even know that he was working till she told me. I don't even get to know it first but she did! So the word JEALOUSY came out! But, what to do? He doesnt belongs to me anymore! I can't possibly ask him to report his everyday life to me. RIGHT? Sometimes, I really wish that he knows my blog and know what I think for him and the feelings I have for him! Alright, I know that it's impossible as from the very start when im with him, he didn't know I got a blog. Today, I screamed and cried loudly at home! While I was crying, I said this to myself. " Let go of HIM!", "I don't wish to be hurt so deeply!", "Let me go!". After all this while, she thought I have already began to let go. But, the truth was NO! At-times, I just feel that she just don't understand me well enough. It's okay anyway! Nobody will understand anyone's feeling except for their ownself! Well, 8 more days to His, Limin's & Dion's birthday. I was thinking if he will ask me for his birthday celebration?! So I didn't write my work schedule for 27th, 28th and 29th of September. As for IN CASE! Althought our relationship was so,so,so short but, my love for you was so big! NEVERMIND, you wont understand because right from the start, I knew that I was the one who is loving you. |
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| with love ♥ 9:18 PM |
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